Hmmm

I know it's bored to read my blog. It is all NG and that means it is NO GOOD. Now is going to be a school holiday and I am really happy but something just haunt me in my mind. And it's my Maths exam. What If I bring that paper back with a moody face. Then I'm gonna be dead. Being 14 really sick. I never get threaten like this before. I get jealous when ever I saw my brother and my friends get cool stuff or something that they like even they don't need to study. Damn, if one day I am rich and famous I can get anything or do anything what I like. When ever I get frustrated , I will post something in my blog. Okay I guess that's strange or scary. But now, at this moment I really want to know who is my true friend. Opps I guess I have nothing to do but to ask this silly question.

The real thing

I know the truth why all this years when ever I go to school and I become a loner after a while. I just already know it and I have to accept this fact because it is true. I just wanted spill everything out here. And yes, I am a lonely person, everyday I wake up in the morning and when I saw a girl in the mirror and that's me. all I can said is " I am beautiful and I am great " even it's not true. But I live in a happy family and I have a few good friends who comfort me. There is one girl who will always be there for me and chat with me in Facebook telling me to be strong. we do talk about guys sometimes. I have two girlfriends(My neighbours)always accompany me. I have a guy friend who I always hang out with. He do criticize me everyday but he didn't meant it. Another guy friend he's a timid type one and He said that I am not that ugly . But the thing is we don't talk much and we never go out together before. Everyday, I will hear that pupil will call me fat ,whore, slut. Why should I care if I am living in a very happy life and comfortable life. I was wrong about my bad behaviour last year until almost all of the kids in school think I am a whore. I made that up and that's not true. Last year I do pick up Taekwondo lessons and I hate it. At first I didn't know why they hate me , when I start to realise that I was humiliating myself. To all the fellows that I have hurt your feelings. I'm sorry. I guess nothing more I can say. About why classmates usually don't want to sit or having a conversation with me , I am a bored person. I guess it is also about the bullshit last year. One of the kids in my class told me that I really need cutting schools . And yes , she told me that I am a bored person ,she told me that I need to skip classes , she told me I need to have some funs and I don't need to be afraid of the teachers or discipline teacher. She also told me that I'm a total coward. The truth is I am not afraid of the teachers. I really wanted to try cutting schools so badly. But the thing is I don't really want to have a bad record in school because even if I have a good results I won't able to go to college even if I have a good results.